A Story of Two Brothers

Turkey likes to say how much my cat, Dexter, loves him more. According to Turkey, they go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy back:

Turkey: Mom, Dexter is MINE.

Me: No, he is definitely MINE.

Turkey: Nope, he loves me more.

Me: Nope.

Turkey: Yes, he really does love me more.

Me: How is that possible?

Turkey: Because we were in your tummy together.

Me: UMMMMM

Turkey: Yes, I remember. We punched your stomach together to get out and that is why we are brothers.

Me: That must have been SOME burrito that I ate!

#brothers

#thismakessensetome

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6 year old musings…

My parents agreed to watch Turkey for the month of June because work is very busy this time of year. They have also been wanting kittens, so I found them the perfect pair of boy kittens this weekend. We made a quick trip to see them, and Turkey had the funniest musings about life with the grandparents.

Turkey: Mom, I have to tell you something…

Me: Ok, what?

Turkey: YOUR parents are DEAF. I have to SHOUT at them!

Me: Yea, they really are.

Turkey: Well, I am the grown up of them because they don’t know what to do without me.

Me: Yea, that makes sense. What do you have to do?

Turkey: I have to tell Pop to give me donuts. I have to find Bubbe’s phone ALL THE TIME. (LOUD HUFF)

Me: Yea, that sounds like a lot of work.

Turkey: AND they take a LOT of naps.

Me: Sorry, Turkey. But, you still have a whole month with them.

Turkey (sigh): I know. I hope they start to hear better!

#lifewithgrandparents

#kittenlove

Tummy aching

Me: Monkey it’s time to wake up.

Money: mmmmm nooooo

Me: Sweetie, we have 15 minutes to get out of here. Lets get moving.

Monkey: I can’t, I have a tummy ache!

Me: Well you don’t feel warm. I’ll tell you what. You put on a brave face and if it keeps hurting you during the day you let the front office know they can call me and I’ll pick you up early.

Phone rings at noon.

School admin: Hi there, it’s not an emergency but Monkey told us she could call you if her stomach was hurting. Honestly she’s not warm and she didn’t seem that bothered skipping in here.

Me: It’s fine. I’m working from home. I’ll just pick her up and have her rest.

Later…

Monkey: Mommy, I’m hungry.

Me: Baby, I fed you half a pbj, soup, and an apple. Did you really swallow a stomach bug who you have to feed?

Monkey shakes head emphatically.

Even later…

Me: Baby tell me the truth. Did your tummy ever hurt today?

Monkey: ummm. No but, I didn’t want to do it anymore. We are always learning at school!

We both laugh.

Me: You’re going to have a lot more of that in your lifetime! You only have a few weeks left of first grade. You need to enjoy your teacher while you have her!

#tummyachingmondays #isitsummertimeyet #toomuchlearningwhendoesitstop

St. Paddy’s Day Fable

Monkey: Mommy how did you get the mac n cheese green?

Me: Umm. I used leprechaun juice.

Monkey: Oh. Because Nana used food coloring.

Me: *clears throat* Oh she did? Well, you said you wanted to see the rainbow…so I used the leprechaun juice.

Monkey: Mmm can I have some more leprechaun juice?

Me: No. I used it all on the mac n cheese.

Monkey: Oh, it’s delicious.

#stpattysdaytale #greenfoodflavor #whynot

The Pantry Dumper

Sister: A few days back, I saw the biggest poop in the pantry!

Me: Oh, yea. That was Dexter.

Sister: No way! That was a huge poop. I think Turkey pooped in the pantry. That was definitely a human poop, due to the size.

Me: Nope, that was definitely Dexter; he does that when I don’t do what he wants, like take him outside! Besides, Turkey doesn’t poo in pantries.

Me: And you left it for me to find in the morning!

Sister: oh yes, that was so gross!

#mycatsajerk

#biggesterdsever

The Bad Mom…

So, we went out to breakfast this Saturday. Turkey, Me, TD and Sister. Turkey was in a bad mood, so we thought we’d eat outside to try and brighten his mood.

We figured maybe a good breakfast would fix his case of the “HANGRIES”

We sat down and waited for the food.

Me: Oh look, Turkey, the food is almost here.

Sister: Cheer up, Turkey!

Turkey: (grumpy face)

In comes the food.

Me to TD: Oh my goodness! I forgot to order Turkey food!

TD: I guess I’ll share with him! I cannot believe you forgot to order for him!

Sister: He is going to remember this forever!

Me: Probably, but my food looks delish!

#badmom

#nofoodforturkey

The Seester….

We have decided to host an exchange student, so that Turkey can see what it is like to have a sibling. Monkey is EXTREMELY jealous of Turkey’s new sister, this includes Monkey’s mom. She wanted to know how to get her own. The new sister is from Germany and she loves us already.

Monkey: Turkey, how did you get a new sister?

Turkey: My parents got her for me.

Monkey: Oh. I want one.

Convos later on when Seester’s friend is over:

Monkey: Did you get ANOTHER sister?

Turkey: Yea, so? I have two sister’s now!

Monkey: THAT IS NO FAIR. I want one.

Turkey: You have to buy your own.

#foreignexchangestudents

#turkeysnewseester

The Critic

Turkey: UGH MOM. UGH!

moe3

 

Me: What, what is wrong?

Turkey: HE DID IT AGAIN.

Me: Who did what? What are you talking about.

Turkey: MOE! He DID it.

Me: But, what did he do? He is my perfect angel!

Turkey: He reached up onto the fridge and he ate my ART! UGH. He is the rudest cat EVER.

moe1

Me: Nah, Turkey. He just doesn’t like your artwork.

Turkey: HOW RUDE!

Everyone is a critic these days…even the Cat…

moe

#boyangst

#mycatisanasshole

Show me the Money…

There is this new Wellness Program at my work where if you get a certain amount of points by May 31st you get money off your Health Plan. Nevertheless, I am motivated to get in my “steps” to get my 10 points a day.

Turkey is ALL ABOUT competition and is obsessed with getting in his steps. So, we decided for Turkey’s birthday to get him a Vivofit, Jr so he can track his own steps. Here is how the conversation went today:

Turkey: What are your points today, Mom?

Me: Oh, about 11, 100 so far.

Turkey: Hmmm. Well, what is your Boss’s points?

Me: My Boss? Oh, well I am not sure she is trying to get that many steps in. She is very busy.

Turkey: But, how will she get money off? (He is very motivated by numbers and money)

Me: Well, I am sure she will figure it out.

Turkey: Well, if she is the Boss, she doesn’t really need points cause she already gets A LOT OF MONEY.

Me: Well, Turkey, every little bit helps.

Turkey: Someday I am going to be a boss too, so I get a lot of money, too.

#aspirationsofafutureboss

#stepscompetitor

The Facts of Life…

My good friend, Cinderella came to visit Turkey to bring him some donuts for his birthday month. I couldn’t wait for her to hear his version of how he came to be.

Me: Turkey, tell me and Cinderella the story again of how you were made.

Turkey: Ugh, Mom, you KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Me: Turkey, tell me. Cinderella wants to hear!

Cinderella: Yes, please tell me!

Turkey: Ok, fine. Mom made me.

Cinderella: Oh? How?

Turkey: Well, Dad fed Mom burritos.

Cinderella: OH my!

Turkey: Yup, lots of Burritos, lots and lots of burritos. And then Dad kept feeding her those.

Me: giggling

TD: yup, lots and lots of burritos.

Turkey: And then Mom made me.

TD: How did you come out?

Turkey: Oh, Mom pooped me out with the burritos.

#turkeyisms

#howturkeycametobe